Funny How That Works
by RachelCarter
Summary: One-shot Funny how it works, when you tell your ex-boyfriend that you don't need to see each other, and he takes your word for it and leaves, without even a bye, and the last words you hear from him break your heart into a billion gazillion pieces. Real funny.


**Thought I'd try something new and do a one-shot. Tell me how it turns out.**

I was running. Again. Heart pounding, feet flying, arms pumping back and forth. Running. It seemed like I was always running. Running, from people, running from problems, running from schoolwork, from parents, from friends. From fears. I was always running from fears. Fear of people, of schoolwork, (what? it's a legitimate fear!) fear of parents, of friends. I was never scared of anything, yet I was scared of everything. Funny how that works.

At the moment I was running from my crazy boyfriend intent on sleeping with me. Forcefully. Before you laugh, that wasn't a joke. He was taking medications for his insanity.

We went to the movies, and apparently that means he can do whatever he wants with me, regardless of my morals or my beliefs. Apparently, it also means that when I say, "No." I really mean, "Yes, please, run over me like I'm a speed bump. Do whatever you want with me." You should have read that with a high-pitched falsetto voice. If you didn't, read it again. Wasn't that much funnier? Anyway, back to the running.

I turned a corner and found myself in an alley. _Are you freakin' kiddin' me? Seriously? An alley? I didn't even know we had those. Oh, well, lesson learned. _Yes, I think quite extensively in my head. In full sentences. Sometimes it's like there's a Voice, like, another person. It's seriously weird.

Arrrgh. I hate it when I go on rabbit trails.

I stopped with my back to the wall and prepared to duke it out with Dylan when all of a sudden a door opened to my left and dragged me inside. The door shut leaving me in complete darkness with some random stranger. I struggled to get out of their arms but they wrapped them around me, effectively pinning my arms and rendering them useless. I still wriggled, determined not to give in, when a low, husky voice rumbled in my ear.

"If you don't stop squirming, he'll hear you." I ignored the attractive quality of the voice and stopped struggling. He was right.

Listening carefully, I could just barely hear Dylan in the alley cursing up a storm that a sailor would be proud of. Suddenly I popped my arms out of the stranger's grasp and ran over to the door, pulling out my phone as I did so. Calling up the right one, I started recording and held the phone to the door. When Dylan left, I replayed the recording and smirked. You could easily tell it was Dylan's voice, and I quickly sent it to Dylan's mom, along with an explanation. He was gonna get in sooo much trouble.

I suddenly remembered the stranger behind me when a light was turned on, illuminating his face when I turned around, and man, was he _ripped._ He wasn't wearing a shirt, just some jeans, and you could see his six-pack clearly. His biceps were defined, his fingers long and tapering, olive skin, and the best black hair ever found on a guy. His hair was long-ish, down past his ears, but he wore it well. Amazingly well, in fact. He was barefoot, and tan, and absolutely delicious. He smirked arrogantly, and I almost punched it off his face, but I remembered that he had just possibly saved me from a maniac, so I decided to be nice. Ish.

"I'm Max." I said, holding out one hand for him to shake. He quirked an eyebrow but reached forward to shake my hand, holding for a tad longer than necessary.

"Fang. Is Max your real name?" Well, isn't he talkative. Just gets right to the point. "Yeah. Well, it's Maximum, actually, but I prefer not to be called that." Prefer not to be called that, my butt. It's more like, if you call me that I will kick yo rear all the way to Arkansas. I've actually done that, once. Not literally, of course, but he did move there after the ...incident.

"Maximum. I like it. Name's Nick, but don't call me that."

"Yeah, 'cause he'' kick yo rear all the way to Arkansas!" I turned in surprise at hearing another voice and saw another ripped, shirtless male standing in the doorway of what, glancing around, looked suspiciously like a trashed kitchen. I quirked an eyebrow. Fang grimaced but introduced him.

"This is Iggy. Don't ask how he got the nickname, he's never told us." I did a double-take of the boy in the doorway. About 18, like Fang, probably going into his senior year, like me. Now that I thought about it, he had looked vaguely familiar.

"I don't need to ask; I know how he got it." At Fang's curious look, and Iggy's wide grin at realizing who I was, I continued. "I gave it to him. He was my best friend in kindergarten, and he was addicted to iguanas. Over time, that nickname shortened to Iggy. Hey, man. How you been?" All of a sudden, Iggy was at my side, giving me a giant hug. I returned it with equal fervor. We really had been the best of friends. The sound of a throat clearing broke us apart and Iggy put me back on my feet. I saw Fang's amused smirk, but there was something else... jealousy? I decided to tease them. I knew Iggy was straight as an arrow, and Fang probably was, too, but this would be too good to pass up.

Looking between the two of them standing side by side, I smirked inwardly before putting a curious expression on my face. "So, are you two, like, together?" They got these horrified expressions on their faces, and I nearly cracked up, but managed to hold myself together. Ignoring their exclamations of disgust and denial, I continued to speak. "It's okay, guys, really. I mean, I'm not a big fan of PDA, but whatever floats your boat, ya know?" I looked back and forth between them, the horrified looks growing on their faces 'till I finally couldn't take it anymore and doubled over laughing. They just stood there, incredulous, shocked beyond belief until Iggy joined me and then we were both on our knees over how ridiculous it was, and Fang chuckled, which seemed like laughing uncontrollably for him. Finally we stopped, and just lied there on the kitchen floor, too spent to get up.

"Oh,Max honey, I missed your sense of humor."

"Why, Iggy dear, thank you, but I borrowed that one from you." We both chuckled, feeling like we had been friends forever, and I mentally thanked Dylan for chasing me into this alley. Things were finally looking up for me. **-**

**Be nice to the line. It's not there to hurt you, only to make the story clearer.-**

**_1 Year Later_**

We were fighting. Again. Hearts pounding, words flying, insults going back and forth. It seemed like we were always fighting. Fighting over people, over problems, over schoolwork. Over family. Over friends. We fought over everything under the sun, now.

At first it had been like the honeymoon stage, ya know? He was so sweet, always bringing me flowers, showing up randomly to take me out, sending me random texts that made me smile like a goof in the middle of class. We were the golden couple, always invited to everything together. If you wanted Fang there, you better invite Max and vice versa. It was amazing. Perfect. We just... connected, ya know? We just belonged together. I should have known, though. If it's perfect, it doesn't belong with me.

We fought for the first time about a month and a half after we first got together. It was about school. I needed to study for a test, but he wanted to go to Lissa's birthday party. I told him no. He told me yes. Before I knew it, we had both hurt the other and he had left me alone in my room. It was the first party he went to without me, but it wasn't the last. He didn't need to have good grades; he was going to be a professor at the local college. I was going into law school, I needed good grades if I wanted to get into Harvard or Yale. He knew this, but said that I needed to enjoy being a teenager.

After that, we fought about everything. We fought about how to handle people; about how to handle our problems. About my focus on homework, and his lack of it. About how he treated our families, and how I complained too much about mine. About out different friends and how his were stuck-up jerky snobs and mine were pathetic lame losers.

We had fought about everything under the sun, but somehow I never thought we would be fighting about this. I was standing in his face, stabbing my finger at his chest as angry tears rolled down my face. I was furious. Livid. Angrier than I had ever been before.

Yesterday evening, he had invited me to go with him to a party at one of his friend's. It was the first time in over a week, and I really wanted to go, but I had to babysit my siblings. He thought I was making excuses and left in a rage. Probably the most mad I ever seen Fang, and it was a sight to behold.

He had gone to the party anyway, and I had surprisingly gotten out of my babysitting duties, so I dressed in something cute and drove over there. I walked in the door, hoping to surprise him, when I saw him in the back of the room. On the couch. With Lissa in his lap. Making out. I walked over there and stood for several minutes, just watching. I had to make sure she wasn't just shoving herself on him, and she most certainly wasn't. In fact, Iggy went over to him to ask him what in the world he was doing, and Fang pushed him away without breaking the kiss. Like, drove his forearm into Iggy's stomach and pushed him aside like a fly. I began to see red.

Barely even noticing what I was doing, I ripped Lissa off of Fang and punched her in the nose. She screamed and fell aside. She must have been a loud screamer, because the music shut off and a crowd began to gather. That's when I got my bearings back. I glared so hard at Lissa that she flinched, then crouched beside her so only she could hear me.

"Even if I didn't care about my boyfriend, he's still mine, and nobody messes with me. Do you understand me?" At her frantic nod, I straightened up and looked around. My friends were pushing their way to the front of the crowd to stand by me and I looked at them gratefully. We, my friends and I, were the flock. Fang used to be part of us, until he decided he was too good for us and found his own group. One of his friends, Maya, even looked like a snobbier version of myself.

I finally turned to Fang. Backing him up were Dylan, who had grown out of his insanity, and Sam, some random football jock. I glared at Fang for a few moments until I decided what I wanted to say. It was silent in the room, but people had their phones out, taking pictures and recording. It would be plastered all over the school website in 3 minutes.

"How long, Fang? How long have you been fooling me? Going behind my back? With her?" I pointed at Lissa, then thought of another question. "Was she the only one? How many of them were there?" He just looked at me for a moment before replying, quick and concise, just like always.

"A month. Too many to count." I just nodded.

"Okay. In case it's not painfully obvious to all of us, we're over." Turning to Lissa, I said, "He's all yours. Sorry 'bout your nose." Then I turned and left.

Now, he's over at my house. I'm not sure why, but he said some infuriating things, and tried to blame the whole thing on me. I mean, seriously? Because betraying your girlfriend is the girlfriends fault, obviously. Makes total sense. The idiot.

"YOU cheated on ME, Fang! You thought I was gonna let that go? Tell you I was wrong to break up with YOU and take YOU back? No! You betrayed me, and I can't trust you anymore. I would like to, really I would, but we weren't working out anyway. Graduation is over, and we don't ever have to see each other again if we don't want to." I watched him for a second as he looked at me, then he nodded. "Okay, Max. You know what, you're right this time. We fought too much. I won't search you out again." Then he left. He went out of my house, out of my life, forever.

Funny how it works, when you tell your ex-boyfriend that you don't need to see each other, and he takes your word for it and leaves, without even a bye, and the last words you hear from him break your heart into a billion gazillion pieces. Well, you know what's really funny, so funny I cried for two hours and didn't feel like eating chocolate chip cookies for a week?

He never came back.

**What did you think? Was it good? Bad?**


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